ARTEMIS FOWL AND THE LOLLIPOP NIGHTMARE
by folklore111
Summary: Artemis has a dream about lollipoips.
1. Chapter 1

(DISCLAIMER:I do not own Artemis Fowl. If I did I would be immensely rich.)

ARTEMIS FOWL AND THE LOLLIPOP NIGHTMARE.

"Night Butler, Keep alert old friend." Artemis frowned.

"And why are you wearing a bright yellow suit?"

Butler blushed, and replied, "It was Juliet's fault really."

Artemis snorted with disapproval at Juliet asking him to wear that.

"hmmm." Artemis resolved to have strong words with Juliet tomorrow.

"Never mind," he said at last, reserving judgment for now.

"Artemis." Butler frowned.

"Tomorrow, friend," Artemis said, rolling over.

"Yes, Artemis." Butler replied, turning out the light.

That was when the nightmares began.

P.S Please review, its short, I don't mind negative reviews, but don't flame or spam, please


	2. Lolliland!

(YAY! My first update!)

Pink skies… the smell of strawberries… a dancing lollipop…

"Lollipop! I hate you lollipop!" Artemis said in his dream, eyes open in the dream.

He looked down, to see if his Armani suit was unscathed. Instead, it wasn't there.

In its place was a pink t-shirt with the words 'I love lollipops' on it.

"But but but…" Artemis spluttered.

"Welcome to lolliland." The lollipop held out his hand.

"WHA!!" Artemis shouted.

It was then he noticed the shops around him.

And he was in Dublin high street.

The shops were selling lolly related merchandise.

The confectionary was all lollies.

The video games were all like, 'Bobli, the rise and fall of the lolly empire.'

"Uhoh." Artemis thought.

But Artemis didn't say this. He walked down the street, breathing quickly.

He didn't stop, until he bumped into a massive frame of a man.

"Butler? Is that you?" asked Artemis.

"Artemis?" butler replied quickly, "oh its you." He said, not looking backwards.

For the first time in this nightmare, Artemis felt completely safe. Until…

"Its great here isn't it Artemis?" Butler said.

Artemis was astonished. Butler knew he hated lollipops.

"Butler?" Artemis hesitantly asked.

It was for the first time he noticed a hood covering the bodyguards face.

Then, Butler swung round to face him.

His face was a lollipop.

"AAAHHH!!" shouted Artemis, scared out of his wits."

He backed slowly away from Butler.

Right into a circle of dancing lollipops.

(Heh heh heh. Bit of a cliffhanger. R and R please!)


	3. Cars and Planes

(A new update!! Thanks to all the people that reviewed. )

"Um…Er…" Artemis found himself at a loss for words.

Speechless!!!

The lollipops were grinning evilly and continued their frenzied dance.

Just when Artemis thought it was safe to go, Butler dragged him into the circle.

And pushed him into the middle.

"AAAAHHH!!!" he shouted. True terror. That was what he felt.

He tried to barge his way past them and almost collapsed with the effort.

He tried to bore them to death with a quantum physics lecture.

Didn't work.

And then, suddenly, they all stopped their dance and allowed him through.

Artemis wondered why.

Which is weird if you're a genius.

And then he realized that his trousers had transformed.

They were now pink, with purple dots, which spelt lollipops rule.

"NOOOOOOOOOO" shouted Artemis, stealing the nearest lollipop car, tried to avoid seeing more lollipops, thinking about lollipops, smelling strawberries, and drive to Fowl manor.

All without getting his hands on the steering wheel.

He finally managed to get to Fowl manor, only to find it was now named Lollipop manor.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Artemis screamed, partly because of this and partly because the annoying chanting music had started up again,

Indicating that the lollipop band, which had danced around him before, had followed him.

How? Well, simple really. They stole his Lear jet.

"THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING!!!" he shouted. By now he had half lost control, and all the lollipops shouting, "Artemis! Artemis!" did not improve his mood.

Before he went in, he remembered something, that he had never opened the door himself; Butler had always done it for him.

"Butler!" he barked, forgetting where he was for a moment, and it was not until a massive lollipop loomed over him, that he yelped, scared out of his wits and remembered where he was.

He wished he hadn't.

"Um, Butler…" Artemis asked,

The lollipop seemed to smirk.

"Couldyoupleaseopenthedoorforme?" Artemis blurted out, still shivering from seeing that massive lollipop loom over him.

"Certainly." The lollipop smirked even more.

Butler opened the door, and Artemis was faced with Angeline lollipop, Artemis the first lollipop, and Juliet lollipop.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

Screamed Artemis.

His feet were growing pink.


	4. Motorboards and home

(Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl)

Sorry I took so long. I forgot all about this.

ON WITH THE STORY.

P.S: Great reviews! Thanks

"Oh my god…." Artemis trailed off. Not only were his feet pink, they were also really sticky.

He looked up at the lollipops, and saw that they were doing that frenzied dance again.

He picked himself up very slowly, and then backed away.

Right into Butler lollipop.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he shouted. It was actually more of a scream.

He ran,well,tripped and ran, to a motorbike parked in the middle of the lawn.

He got into it, and realized that the keys were a lollipop, with a lollipop medallion hanging from it.

He looked down at his feet again, and saw that it. Was. COMing. OUt. Of . The. BIKE!!!!

"What is this place?!" he screamed to the air.

He looked behind him, and saw that lollipop manor had become encased in pink juice.

Even though he was pretty far away from the manor, he could already smell a faint taste of strawberries in the air.

The more he looked, the more he could see of the lawns being encased, and the more he could smell strawberries.

He also looked at his feet.

They were covered in juice, and the pink was spreading.

It had now covered his legs.

And was coming up to his torso.

"WHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT???!!!" he shouted, his eyes bobbing furiously.

The bike was now not even moving.

All the lollipops on it had hardened, and stopped the wheel.

He looked around for another means of transport.

He knew that they were still in the grounds because of the trail of rhododendrons he had got behind him.

Juliet would be devastated.

She loved Rhododendrons.

It took him about a minute, and still he got nowhere.

Every second he wasted was a second that pink strawberry wave was coming closer.

He shuddered, and almost fainted.

Then he thought. The wave…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

he shouted, going over yet another bump on the wave.

In between screaming, he marveled at his idea.

He had somehow found duct tape in his pocket,

(I put it there.)

and managed to fasten two surfboards on to the motorbike, and he had managed to make a motorboard!

Suddenly, he felt a light feeling on his neck.

His body was pink!!!!

He tried to shout something, but he only managed to shout "damn!".

Before he fainted.

He opened his eyes in the dream, to see two lollipops bending over him, looking concerned.

Which is pretty much the same as they did before.

Before he could analyze this fact,

(which takes, incase you were wondering, takes 00.00000001 seconds,) he screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

"Come on fellow lollipop, we have things to attend to."

Artemis was puzzled at this statement, but he only realized the truth as he looked down.

He was a lollipop.

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

He woke up, sweaty and screaming.

"I DON'T LIKE LOLLIPOPS!" he shouted.

(Authors note: I didn't like this chapter much. R and R please.)

(Authors second note: The end. Finished. Finito. Happy? You should be.)


End file.
